The Final by Stephen Foster

By Stephen Foster

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You could not dream it better. The Final Journey My normal travelling companions from Norwich to the midlands (and to all points) are fellow Stoke fans Graham - who I met on the road on the way to Peterborough United for a night match ten years ago - and his stepson Matty. Graham is a few years younger than me, Matty is thirteen: Graham has done a straight-up job of indoctrinating the boy. ) and Norwich City have been in the doldrums for several of the past few years so perhaps his task has been easier than mine when I converted my own son to the Potters, when Norwich were a division higher than us some while ago.

The thing, though, was this: the Manchester City gang were carrying the inflatable bananas. They were jousting them as if they were weapons of war or otherwise (on the backstep) they were wanking them off as though they might be exceptional pricks. Between trying to pop them with the burning ends of their cigarettes, our lot swore violently at the bananas. Though I circled the scene with caution (I did not wish to become a casualty of a one-sided parthenocarpic war) I continued to watch because I was learning something, which was this: it is impossible to be genuinely violent and aggressive if you are carrying an inflatable banana; equally it is impossible to be genuinely violent and aggressive towards the holder of an inflatable banana.

He has mesmerising balance and - from this close range, you really notice it - an imperious sang froid. His hair is a narrow rectangular Mohawk, he is sweating up already, but that means nothing. Another corner to them and he and Walters are at it again, this time Balotelli getting a little rattled as Walters makes a stronger effort to let him know he’s there, in his face. Balotelli turns on him, tells him words to effect of ‘fuck off’. The ball is cleared to the half way line but the relief is temporary, here they come again, they are developing a slow wave of attacks.

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