Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships by Ashley Stanford

By Ashley Stanford

Jam-packed with ideas for strengthening and protecting a long term courting with a few at the autism spectrum.

Ashley Stanford is married to a guy with Asperger Syndrome, and her booklet presents the solutions to the various questions requested via the expanding variety of humans in that scenario. She explains how behaviours which can have seemed strange - or maybe downright frustrating - are the manifestation of AS, and indicates how realizing may end up in higher tolerance, or to alter. Stanford presents a wealth of techniques for residing effectively with the extra uncompromising elements of AS, stating that AS additionally brings huge, immense strengths to a dating, and emphasizing the price of knowing. together with many costs from humans in long term AS relationships, the booklet describes many confident strategies that experience labored for different undefined.

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Example text

I was able to see that he really wasn’t dressing so poorly to offend me (it really is visually offensive), but was trying to self-comfort so he could be a better husband. I learned to buy soft clothes in muted colors and the problem, along with all its related difficulties, was solved. We’d still be fighting about his striped shorts to this day if it weren’t for the diagnosis. What a relief ! Literally hundreds of small, annoying issues were cleared up and wiped away with the revelation of my husband’s condition.

The Aspies may lack the cognitive flexibility to change the initial impression. So, how do we present the AS diagnosis for a positive first impression? Mentioning it verbally might not be a good idea since verbal communication tends to be the weakest modality for Aspies. Mentioning Asperger “syndrome” might be a bad idea too. Perhaps you could use an article such as “The Discovery of ‘Aspie’ Criteria” (Attwood and Gray 1999). This delightful article explores the benefits of AS rather than listing the negative effects of the syndrome.

I need volumes two, three and four of each of them. I have learned to be selective in where I turn for answers. I used to browse the bookstores, looking under the topics of divorce, co-dependency, depression, and anger management (offshoots of what often happens in an AS-linked marriage). At one point I counted nearly a hundred such books in my personal library. Unfortunately, these books don’t and can’t address the intricacies of AS. Using the common literature for marriages and relationships makes you look whiney and needy on the one hand while putting down the Aspie partner as uncaring and uncommitted.

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